The Desire To Not Write

A new client made an off-handed commentknow that language cannot begin to convey
today. She wondered why almost every writeraccurately the words in our hearts, minds and
gets strong urges not to write. "Suddenly, thespirits. Like the Inuit who allegedly have hundreds
plants need watering, the dog needs petting, theof words to describe snow, or the ancient Greeks
laundry needs folding at that very moment." Shewho had six words for love, we are immediately
laughed sheepishly. "I find in the moments that fallrestrained by our limited language skills. The first
into my lap and announce they could be used forwords we type will instantly disappoint us,
writing, I am suddenly possessed by an irresistiblebecause they cannot perfectly convey straight
urge desire to clean closets, skim the internet forinto the heart and mind of another the precise
some obscure fact, or finally finish reading thatmessage we wish to send.
book I started last month. It's worse than cravingAnd this is utter failure. And complete success. It
chocolate, and just as narcotic!"is failure in all the obvious ways, but the way it is
Writers have it tough. The very thing we mostsuccess is valuable to consider. For in our failure to
want to do, we don't do. My ex-husband, whodirect our message perfectly, we leave it flayed
was a journalist at the time, dragged home aopen, exposed to any reader's interpretation. Each
snippet of a quote. "No one likes writing, butreader sees in the work precisely what he or she
everyone likes having written." I am not sure toneeds to take from it. They get what they
whom attribution belongs, but I'd wager it's awanted to get, nothing more or less. The critic
professional writer. I am disinclined to write unlesswho dices a book gets another paycheck next
there's a deadline looming. Perhaps this is why somonth for being pithy and curt. The reader who
few authors actually get published. Finishing askims only the first few chapters and carries
proposal or the first draft of a fiction work isaway a wholly different message from that
usually a self-imposed deadline.intended needs that skewed message to verify
I used to think it was the fear of criticism orhis or her own opinion, pro or con. If fifty people
rejection that kept most writers from writing. Butread our work, there will be fifty interpretations
now having been a writer all my life, and workingof the same work.
with thousands of them as an agent, I think thatWe should have learned this in college English
is just the tip of the, well, the tip of the pool cue,classes, for therein is the beauty of the craft and
to avoid a cliché. My dad, an old pool sharkthe release from the "Writer's Procrastination"
legendary only in his own mind, remembers peoplemalaise. Each person sees something different in
who were nervous about taking the shot whothe book, even the author upon rereading it later.
endlessly chalked their cue stick. It's the sameWe are perfectly met by words, because the
with us, isn't it? We fuss and distract and whinewords mean something different to each of us.
that we don't have time or the rightThemselves, they are merely symbols for
circumstances to write. As for me, if I'm notmeanings, and meanings are wholly subjective. In
alone in a cabin in Big Bear with a plate of warmCalifornia, the yellow stoplight means "hurry up!" In
chocolate chip cookies (or in a pinch, oatmealChicago, it means, "slow down!" The words we
raisin), in front of the fieldstone fireplace withsee come to us in their own stark beauty, they
snow falling outside, in my favorite faux leopardadhere to our own vision of what we want and
skin slippers, how could I possibly be expected toneed from the text we are consuming.
turn out prose of any value? Quite simply, IWhen you next set fingertips to keyboard, or quill
cannot write unless conditions are perfect. That'sto parchment, remember that your efforts to
what I tell myself. That's what my writers tell me.convey a distinct message are only and sublimely
The question in my mind is always "Why don'tyour efforts. A whole world of possible
writers just force themselves to do it?" I gave ainterpretations exists behind each phrase you turn,
seminar some years ago, when I waseach word picture you sketch. Resolve to allow all
naïve. I taught a class to eight professionalwho choose to indulge in your writing take what
speakers. I charged exorbitant rates to forcethey prefer, like a bountiful banquet table. Then
them through a proposal creation process in justyou are liberated to write what is true and has
three days. They were limp when we finished. Imeaning for you, what is real, in the best
sent them home edited and complete, with onlylanguage you are capable of using. With clarity,
one sample chapter to finish. Six of them had hadlogic and precision, you are freed to let the words
sample chapters coming into the event - we'dflow onto the page. Those who take them up will
edited them on site. All they had to do wassee your work only from their own myopia. Your
incorporate those edits! Five years later, I havejob is complete when the words have been spent
yet to get a completed proposal from any ofand they lie there, self-satisfied and heaving on
them. What's worse is that I happen to knowthe page.
that no other agent or publisher has seen their(c) 2007, Keller Media, Inc. Want to use this article
work either in all this time!in your publication? Reprints welcome so long as
Upon deep introspection and a cup of peppermintthe article and by-line are reprinted intact and all
tea, I have determined once and for all that thelinks made live.
reason writers don't write is because we simply